Counselling for adults
Open-ended counselling for people going through a time of significant change with a focus on exploring relationships, evolving identity and navigating life transitions. Sessions are available in-person in New Plymouth and online for people living across Aotearoa New Zealand, the United Kingdom and many other countries too.
I offer counselling to thoughtful, sensitive people who are navigating a significant transition in their lives. Perhaps you are thinking about making a big change - like ending a relationship, starting a new job, moving towns or countries. Or perhaps something has happened to you - like an illness or a bereavement - which has turned your world upside down. Perhaps you are starting to embrace a previously hidden aspect of your identity - like your gender or sexuality. Perhaps you are feeling stuck, sensing something has to change in your life but you don’t yet know what.
Changes - whether welcome or not - can unsettle us and shake our sense of who we are to the core. Often change leaves us feeling adrift, unsure of ourselves and disconnected from others. You might be feeling lost, overwhelmed or like you’re only just about managing to hold things together.
I help people make sense of who they’re becoming during times of big change, offering a warm, steady space to explore all the parts of themselves - even the messy or difficult ones. By listening inward and understanding how your past and present experiences have shaped you, you can begin to find compassion for yourself and clarity about what you need now.
Giving yourself time to reflect on your situation, your relationships and what's going on for you inside can help you to adjust and find ways - not just to cope - but to develop and flourish.
Counselling with me can be helpful if you:
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are feeling stuck and struggling to find a way forward
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are about to make a big change in your life
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are finding it difficult to cope, adapt and look after yourself after a big change (like a bereavement or a move)
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are having difficulty forming fulfilling relationships (or perhaps old ones aren’t supporting you right now)
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have a deep sense of loneliness
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feel pain from not belonging
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feel unsure about your own identity
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feel afraid that if you are truly seen, people will not understand or accept you
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have a history of hurting yourself or trying to hurt yourself
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have problems resulting from using substances to cope with your feelings
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Carl R. Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy (1961)
This sounds so simple yet in practice can be incredibly challenging.
When we’re going through a big life transition, our sense of who we are and what we need in our relationships often changes. Routines, people and activities we might have once found helpful may not be available or may not be working for us anymore.
A big part of learning how to adapt and evolve in the face of a big life change is to first listen to all the different parts of ourselves and what they need now, at this time.
We all have parts of ourselves that we don’t like as much, that aren’t ok, that we feel ashamed of. Perhaps parts that are angry, devastated, scared or who aren’t coping. Perhaps parts that once looked after us but aren’t doing so now.
When we dare to listen to these parts, we can start to really get to know ourselves. That’s when we can start to find compassion for our whole selves and when things can start to change.
In counselling, you don't have to hide the messy or uncertain parts of yourself. I offer a warm, boundaried space where we can make sense of what’s going on for you at your pace. I work integratively, drawing from different therapeutic approaches to help you give voice to all the parts of yourself including the ones that feel hard to be with.
I don’t see people as broken or in need of fixing. Instead, I work alongside you to help you explore how your past and present experiences have shaped you and how different parts of you have tried to protect you. I offer a space where you can start to listen inward, to find language for what you’ve felt but never said and begin to make meaningful changes - in relationships, in how you see yourself and in how you live.
Over time, you’ll begin to feel more comfortable in yourself. You’ll get a stronger sense of who you are and what you want your relationships and life to look like. You might learn to speak up, set boundaries and find ways to intentionally care for yourself that work for you.
How can counselling help me?
Counselling aims to help you clarify difficult feelings and situations, get to know and accept yourself better, think about the choices you have and consider any changes you might want to make in your life.
Counselling is essentially a conversation between two people but it feels different from a conversation you might have with a close friend or family member. It can be extremely useful to have a neutral, confidential space away from the distractions of daily life to pause and consider how things are for you.
I will listen intently to what you are saying and pick out the key themes which are emerging in order to clarify what is going on internally for you at the moment. Counselling is about you so I won’t talk much about myself; I won’t change the subject or give you unsolicited advice. We talk about what is on your mind, including problems and feelings. Exactly what we talk about each time we meet is up to you. While we will agree at the outset what you would like to focus on, I will be led by you in each session as to what you particularly want to consider that day.
Sometimes it can be difficult to acknowledge painful feelings. You don’t have to talk all the time - sometimes pausing to reflect on what you’ve said can be very helpful. Sometimes it can be useful to write things down, draw or use the sand tray to visualise what is happening for you.
You may want to know how your attitudes, thoughts and feelings interlink and where they originate from in order to understand yourself better. I can help you to think more deeply about your past experiences and relationships, how your responses and beliefs have come to be formed and how they are affecting you now.
You may want to consider changes you would like to make in your life. These could be about how you see yourself and others; how you make sense of your past and your future; how you handle relationships; or how you take care of yourself day to day.
Together we can think through changes you would like to make so these stay with you after the counselling sessions have finished.
This style of counselling is called Integrative. It combines a number of different theories and can be adapted to best meet the needs of each person.
Practicalities
I will regularly review with you how helpful you are finding the counselling sessions and think about whether there’s anything we could do differently to help you get what you want from the process. Over time your goals might change and we can adjust the focus of the sessions accordingly.
At your initial appointment we will discuss roughly how many sessions you might need and use this as a starting point. Together we regularly review how the counselling is going and might agree to either shorten or lengthen our work. This is very much a joint process and you will not be coerced into attending sessions for longer than you need nor will you be encouraged to leave before you feel ready.
Some people come to counselling for a handful of sessions and some come for much longer – sometimes years. A lot depends on what you are bringing and what change you want to see in yourself.
For counselling to be effective, it’s usually important to attend regularly on either a weekly or fortnightly basis. Many people find it helpful to have the same time and day for each session but I can be flexible if this isn’t going to be possible for you.
We can either meet online or in-person, or a mixture of the two.
Check out the FAQ page for more information about practicalities and if there’s something specific you want to know then please send me a message.
Next steps
If you are here then my guess is that you have some hope - even if it’s just a tiny bit - that you might be able to find a way to feel calmer inside and perhaps enjoy life again. You are showing great care for yourself by looking for some help with this.
The next step is to get in touch to ask any questions you might have, talk through your situation and think together about the practicalities of setting up counselling sessions. I offer a free enquiry call that lasts up to 20 minutes. We can talk together about what is prompting you to seek counselling at the moment and whether I’m likely to be able to help you.
If we agree that counselling sessions with me are likely to be helpful for you, then I will email you an assessment questionnaire to complete, and arrange a time/day for a one-off assessment appointment with you. This assessment appointment lasts for up to 50 minutes and is charged for. The assessment appointment involves discussing your situation in depth, and considering what you would like to gain from counselling sessions. It’s also an opportunity for you to assess if you think I am the right counsellor to work with you at the moment.
When you’re ready to take start this process, you can book a free, 20-minute call with me directly through this site. It’s not a big form to fill out – just a few clicks.
