Counselling

Open-ended counselling for people going through a time of significant change with a focus on relationships, identity and navigating life transitions.

If you’re here, there’s probably a sense that something isn’t working in your life.

Maybe you’re feeling stuck. You might be frustrated with how things are but you’re unsure what needs to change.

Maybe life has shifted in ways you didn’t expect, or you’re re-examining long-held assumptions about who you are and what you want. You’re not alone. Often change leaves us feeling adrift, unsure or disconnected from ourselves and others. You may feel lost, overwhelmed or like you’re just about holding things together without truly living.

I work with thoughtful, sensitive people who are going through a period of profound change in their lives. That could be something chosen like ending a relationship, changing jobs or moving. It could be something that’s happened to you like an illness or a bereavement. Or it could be that you are becoming more aware of a previously hidden part of your identity – like your gender or sexuality.

I help people make sense of who they’re becoming during times of big change, offering a warm, steady space to explore all the parts of themselves - even the messy or difficult ones. By listening inward and understanding how your past and present experiences have shaped you, you can begin to find compassion for yourself and clarity about what you need now.

Together, we work towards meaningful shifts in how you see yourself, relate to others and move through your life as it is now with more confidence and ease.

Counselling with me can be helpful if you:

are feeling stuck and struggling to find a way forward
are about to make a big change in your life
are finding it difficult to cope, adapt and look after yourself after a big change (like a bereavement or a move)
are having difficulty forming fulfilling relationships (or perhaps old ones aren’t supporting you right now)
have a deep sense of loneliness
feel pain from not belonging
feel unsure about your own identity
feel afraid that if you are truly seen, people will not understand or accept you
have a history of hurting yourself or trying to hurt yourself
have problems resulting from using substances to cope with your feelings

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

Carl R. Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy (1961)

This sounds so simple yet in practice can be incredibly challenging.

When we’re going through a big life transition, our sense of who we are and what we need in our relationships often changes. Routines, people and activities we might have once found helpful may not be available or may not be working for us anymore.

A big part of learning how to adapt and evolve in the face of a big life change is to first listen to all the different parts of ourselves and what they need now, at this time.

We all have parts of ourselves that we don’t like as much, that aren’t ok, that we feel ashamed of. Perhaps parts that are angry, devastated, scared or who aren’t coping. Perhaps parts that once looked after us but aren’t doing so now.

When we dare to listen to these parts, we can start to really get to know ourselves. That’s when we can start to find compassion for our whole selves and when things can start to change.

In counselling, you don't have to hide the messy or uncertain parts of yourself. I offer a warm, boundaried space where we can make sense of what’s going on for you at your pace. I work integratively, drawing from different therapeutic approaches to help you give voice to all the parts of yourself including the ones that feel hard to be with.

I don’t see people as broken or in need of fixing. Instead, I work alongside you to help you explore how your past and present experiences have shaped you and how different parts of you have tried to protect you. I offer a space where you can start to listen inward, to find language for what you’ve felt but never said and begin to make meaningful changes - in relationships, in how you see yourself and in how you live.

Over time, you’ll begin to feel more comfortable in yourself. You’ll get a stronger sense of who you are and what you want your relationships and life to look like. You might learn to speak up, set boundaries and intentionally care for yourself in ways that benefit you more.

If you are here then my guess is that you have some hope - even if it’s just a tiny bit - that you might be able to find a way to feel calmer inside and perhaps enjoy life again. You have already taken a big step by looking for some help with this.

Take a look at some of the FAQ about counselling with me below. If you think I might be able to help you, please take the next step and message me. I’d be honoured to hear from you.

FAQs about Counselling with me

What is Counselling?

Counselling aims to help you clarify difficult feelings and situations, get to know and accept yourself better, think about the choices you have and consider any changes you might want to make in your life. People come to counselling for a vast range of reasons. Sometimes something specific has happened that remains unresolved. Sometimes it might be because things have been building up for a while and maybe they’ve reached a point where something has to change. Sometimes people are not sure exactly what the problem is but fundamentally they know that something “is not quite right” in life. All of these reasons are valid. When you seek counselling with me, I will take you seriously no matter what your reason for coming is. I will listen to you without judgement or blame. I won’t laugh at you and I won’t ask you to justify why you’re feeling the way you do. I will encourage you to talk about your reasons for coming as honestly as you can.

Who do you work with?

I offer counselling to people aged 18 and over. I am based in New Plymouth (Aotearoa New Zealand) and I work online with people local to this area, as well as remotely with people from all over Aotearoa New Zealand, the United Kingdom and many other countries too. If you are based outside Aotearoa New Zealand and the United Kingdom and you think I can help you then please message me to see if we can work together (with due regard for the relevant law in our respective countries).

What sort of counselling do you offer?

I listen to what you are saying and pick out the key themes which are emerging in order to clarify for you what is going on at the moment. People often feel relieved by this process and you may find that this is all you need. Some people want to know how their attitudes, thoughts and feelings interlink and where they came from in order to understand themselves better. I can help you to think more deeply about your past experiences and relationships, how your responses and beliefs have come to be formed and how they are affecting you now. You may want to consider changes you would like to make in your life. These could be about how you see yourself and others; how you make sense of your past and your future; how you handle relationships; and how you take care of yourself day to day. Together we can think through changes you would like to make so these stay with you after the counselling sessions have finished. My style of counselling is an Integrative approach based around the framework of the Skilled Helper model. I combine theory from the Humanistic schools of therapeutic thought (including Person Centred, Narrative, Gestalt, Existential and Transactional Analysis) and other areas too including Attachment Theory, Systemic Family Theory, Internal Family Systems Theory, Psychodynamic Therapy, Mindfulness, Solution Focused Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). (If you’d like to know more about what these mean then you can ask me!) I am very interested in more recent writing and research about the impact of trauma on an individual’s development, health and wellbeing; the link between the natural world and mental wellbeing; and the decolonisation of therapy and therapeutic relationships - so some of these ideas influence how I practice as well.

Are you accepting of difference?

I work with lots of people who feel different to the majority group. That might be because they come from somewhere else, they are neurodivergent or they don’t identify as cisgender heteronormative. I aim to honour the identity (or identities) of everyone I meet as I find them. I will try to work with you in a way which helps you get what you are looking for out of counselling. I will not try to change who you are to fit in with someone else’s idea of what someone’s life is meant to look like. You might like to check out my About page as well to get some more information on this.

What's the first step?

Please contact me to arrange an initial discussion of up to 20 minutes. We can talk together about what is prompting you to seek counselling at the moment and whether my style of counselling is likely to be helpful for you. I don’t charge for this conversation. If we agree that counselling sessions with me are likely to be helpful for you, then I will email you an assessment form to complete and return to me, and arrange a time/day for a one-off assessment appointment with you. This assessment appointment lasts for up to 50 minutes and is charged for. The assessment appointment involves discussing your situation in depth, and considering what you would like to gain from counselling sessions. It’s also an opportunity for you to assess if you think I am the right counsellor to work with you at the moment. I usually suggest we meet through the video conferencing platform Zoom. If we agree to continue to work together then I will send you a Counselling Agreement and a Privacy Statement by email for you to read and sign electronically. The terms of these include those found on the Terms of Use and Privacy pages of this website. Once the paperwork is completed, we will agree when to meet for regular counselling sessions. These can be scheduled to suit you and are usually booked in for the same time/day each week or fortnight.

When are sessions available?

At the moment I offer sessions between 9.30am - 2.30pm on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays (New Zealand Standard Time).

What are your fees?

A 50 minute session is $140 (NZD) + GST. If you are based outside Aotearoa New Zealand, I will invoice you in New Zealand dollars and ask you to pay through the Wise platform.

How many sessions will I need?

Some people come to counselling for a handful of sessions and some come for much longer - sometimes years. A lot depends on what you want to get out of your counselling sessions, and how long-standing and complex the situations are which you want to think through. At your initial assessment we will discuss roughly how many sessions you might need and use this as a starting point. Together we regularly review how the counselling is going and might agree to either shorten or lengthen our work. This is very much a joint process and I will not pressure you into attending sessions for longer than you need nor will I encourage you to leave before you feel ready.

Are my sessions confidential?

All counselling sessions are confidential. You can check out my confidentiality policy for full details of exactly what this means - you can find it on the Terms of Use webpage. I cannot 100% guarantee that your online communication with me will be private. (This is impossible for any individual or organisation to do.) However, I do as much as I can to protect your data both on and offline and I strongly suggest that you do the same. I carefully select the third party software which I use to communicate and conduct counselling sessions with you, and I reserve the right to change the platforms we use if their privacy settings change making them unsuitable for delivering therapeutic work. I can offer you advice on how to protect your confidentiality when engaging in online counselling. I recommend using strong passwords for all accounts you use to connect with me, and changing them regularly. I recommend only sending me information about yourself by encrypted means (not doing so is the electronic equivalent of sending me a postcard written in pencil). All emails I send to you are in encrypted format.

Do you tell my doctor that I am having counselling sessions?

No, I won’t tell your doctor that you are having counselling sessions with me and the records that I keep are not linked to any other databases. It is not usually recommended for someone to see two (or more) counsellors at the same time so if you know that your doctor has referred you for counselling elsewhere then please tell them that you are already receiving counselling sessions with me. You can then discuss with them whether you need extra support at this time. Likewise if you are already seeing another counsellor, or know that your doctor has already referred you for counselling and you are waiting for an appointment, please let me know this when you contact me.

Are you available in an emergency?

It is sometimes possible to set up an emergency counselling session at short notice but it will depend on my availability. If you are in crisis and need support with your mental health right now then you can find details of some organisations which you can contact on the Urgent Help webpage.