Looking after yourself after a counselling session

"Now, what are you going to do next to look after yourself?"

This is a question I often ask at the end of a counselling session. Not because I want to set you homework, but because the way you move out of the therapy space is part of the process. What you do in those next few minutes matters.

Most people come to counselling to reflect on difficult things and that can leave you with all sorts of emotions and sensations. Sometimes mixed up, fearful or angry. Sometimes lighter, relieved and with a sense of purpose. Sometimes just thoughtful or tired. Whatever comes up, it can be helpful to pause and notice before rushing straight back into the noise of everyday life.

The pause after therapy

Counselling sessions can end quite suddenly, especially if it’s an online session. One moment you’re deep in conversation, the next you’re back in your kitchen or office, staring at a screen or stepping into a busy household. That shift can feel jarring.

Taking even a short pause helps you transition. It’s a way of saying to yourself: “That was important. I need a moment before I carry on.”

Noticing what’s happening inside

One of the most useful things you can do is simply check in with yourself.

• How is your body feeling right now? Tense, heavy, buzzy, or maybe calm?

• What’s your breathing like?

• What thoughts are popping into your head?

• Do you feel connected to yourself, or a little distant?

There isn’t a right answer. The point is just to notice. Counselling often brings up things that are difficult to bear or to make sense of. Sometimes it leaves you feeling raw. Sometimes it brings relief. Whatever has come, giving yourself a moment to tune in helps you understand what you might need next.

Choosing what you do next

When we’re upset or unsettled, it’s natural to reach for something that soothes or distracts us. That might be diving into another work email, scrolling through social media, or grabbing a snack. Sometimes it’s turning to a partner or friend for reassurance.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting comfort. But you might find it more nourishing to intentionally choose something that gives you time and space to notice what’s going on for you in the moment. For example:

• Stepping outside for a breath of air

• Stretching your body

• Making a cup of tea

• Using a calming technique like Havening

• Listening to a piece of music you love (singing along and doing a little dance are perfectly ok too!)

These small choices can give your mind and body the space you need to notice what’s going on for yourself. They remind you that you’re capable of caring for yourself in ways that help you feel grounded. And they help you to manage yourself and your emotions, so they’re less likely to spill out into other parts of your life.

Making self-care part of the process

Looking after yourself after counselling isn’t an “extra” - it’s part of the work. The session doesn’t end when you close your laptop or walk out of the room. The way you treat yourself afterwards shapes how the therapy settles in you.

It can be useful to plan ahead. Ask yourself: What would feel supportive for me after my next counselling session? That way, instead of falling straight into demands or distractions, you have something ready that gives you space to breathe.

An invitation

Next time you finish a counselling session - or even after reading this blog - pause and ask yourself: Now, what am I going to do next to look after myself?

Whatever you choose, know that the act of noticing and caring for yourself is valuable in itself. Learning how to do this is part of the journey therapy supports.

And if you’re thinking about starting counselling but haven’t taken that step yet, you’re welcome to get in touch when the time feels right.